How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a hardware problem.
Why was the programmer always broke? Because he used up all his cache.
Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many bugs.
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
A programmer’s wife tells him, “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.” He comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
Why did the programmer get stuck in the shower? The instructions said: “Lather, rinse, repeat.”
Why was the recursive function so bad at socializing? It always kept calling itself.
Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy? Inheritance.
Why don’t programmers like nature walks? Too many branches.